Just one xibraa: February 2009

Sunday, February 22, 2009

A REAL MAN MUST LOVE AND RESPECT WOMEN.

Think its ok to boss a girl around?

slap her around a few times and teach her a lesson?

She's just a dumb "bitch" a "slut".

No! She's a human being, a girl that deserves to be loved and respected.

Not used and thrown out like a piece of trash.

A "man" should NEVER hit a woman.

And should never force his girl to have sex with him,

thats not something you do to the person you supposedly love.

So if you're aganist Spousal Abuse please repost this!

And if you don't you're not going to die or be raped by a toaster, you're

just cold at heart.

and if your a guy thats man enough to repost this good for you!!!!

Funniest pic for the week

Read this story............cute one..........

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroomwas astonished to see the bed was nicely made andeverything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelopepropped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. Itwas addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, heopened the envelope and read the letter with tremblinghands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writingyou, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my newboyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene withMom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randyand he is so nice to me. I know when you meet himyou'll like him too - even with all his piercing,tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only thepassion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wantsme to have the kid and that we can be very happytogether. Even though Randy is much older than me(anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and hasno money, really these things shouldn't stand in theway of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns atrailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood forthe whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriendsas well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his ownway. He wants to have many more children with me andthat's now one of my dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurtanyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll tradeit with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy wewant. In the meantime, we'll pray that science willfind a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he suredeserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know howto take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be backto visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet,and read:PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at theneighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!

HOW WERE YOU BORN!!!

DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks his dad,
His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies,
"Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!"
"Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download
from my hard drive.As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us
had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button."
"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her
operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS.Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said:'You've Got Male'!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Week end spl

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the nextdoor neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

*Moral of the story:*

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Tel the truth you can escape easily

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted,they fell asleep and woke up at8 PM.The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.He put on his shoes and drove home."Where have you been?" his wife demanded."I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.""You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Don't fyl shy to say " I LUV U "

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wishedshe was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. Graduation Day. A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. A Few Years Later. Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.Funeral Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her highschool years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Never Ever Lick An Envelope!!!‏

CAUTION

One day a lady licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady found a cut on her tongue. A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling on her tongue. She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something to be done. The doctor took an x-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach crawled out!!!! There were cockroach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist.

This is a true story reported on CNN.

Andy Hume wrote:

Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe the things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I haven't licked an envelope for years. I used to work for a print shop (32 years ago) and we were told NEVER to lick the envelopes. I never understood why until I had to go into storage and pull out 2500 envelopes that were already printed and saw several squads of cockroaches roaming around inside a couple of boxes with eggs everywhere. They eat the glue on the envelopes.